Recruiter: So Steve..
Candidate: Andy..
Recruiter: Tell me a little about your background.
Candidate: Well, I used to work in an office. In the background there was a large wall, a clock that went anti-clockwise and a Hello Kitty coffee machine.
Recruiter: Oh yeah. And did you get on well with the management?
Candidate: Yeah. My boss was always 100% behind me.
Recruiter: Oh so he totally supported you?
Candidate: No. He was always 100% behind me. Watching. He didn't trust me.
Recruiter: So Steve..
Candidate: Andy..
Recruiter: What do you feel you can bring to this company?
Candidate: Well.. my bag, some pens, my lunch, and a bowl of plastic fruit.
Recruiter: So Steve..
Candidate: Andy..
Recruiter: What do you know about us?
Candidate: Only what you've told me.
Recruiter: And what was that?
Candidate: Nothing.
Recruiter: So Steve..
Candidate: Andy..
Recruiter: So what are your strengths and weaknesses?
Candidate: Strong coffee. Weak bladder.
Recruiter: So Steve..
Candidate: Andy..
Recruiter: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Pretty much the same as now. Mostly on facebook.
Recruiter: In your resume it says that you're "driven". What do you mean?
Candidate: I don't have a driver's licence.
Recruiter: So Steve..
Candidate: Andy..
Recruiter: Give me an example of how you dealt with a difficult work situation.
Candidate: Well. I had a colleague who was always rude to me. So I decided to lead by example. And reply with kindness. And give him a helping hand.
Recruiter: Oh yeah. What did you do?
Candidate: He was running late for a meeting. So I pushed him down the stairs.
Recruiter: So Steve..
Candidate: Andy..
Recruiter: Steve. Finally. Why should we choose you? What do you really have to offer?
Candidate: A thousand dollars?
Recruiter: Steve. The job is yours!
Candidate: Andy. Andy. Andy. Andy.
Credit: Greg Goodyer Comedy
